What happens when you stop talking in therapy?

What happens when you stop talking in therapy? There can be that uncomfortable silence - someone fill it, please! There’s perhaps discomfort in the body as you start to fidget, your brain may frantically search for something to fill the void…

When you fill that void there can be a sense of relief - phew, that’s better.

That’s what it can feel like and that’s what we can observe - but let’s take this a little deeper; because it can be SO much deeper.

Let’s talk Brain

Think of the brain in parts for a moment, that our language is in the top layer (neo-cortex) and our memory lies in the underneath bit (the sub-cortex). When we’re talking, we have direct access and are utilising the skills of the neo-cortex, the problem with this is that 95% of the brains memory bank is held in the sub-cortex. So, when we rely on talking, we’re missing the bigger picture.

This has implications for talking therapies, so sometimes what I hear is ‘I’ve had this thing for years, I’ve had loads of therapy but it’s still there’ or ‘I’ve tried different therapists but I still find myself doing it’ and ‘I’ve tried everything’. One possible reason for this, is that they’ve been talking in isolation of the sub-cortex. Think of the sub-cortex as the treasure chest.

Life events are stored, like capsules, inside the sub-cortex. Life events such as trauma, accidents, attachments, challenges, birth, conversations and so much more .

So can we ever have full access by only talking?

Bringing the brain back together as an interconnected system, full of neurons and synapses that regulate our being and keep us alive - whilst the neo and sub-cortex are connected, the neo-cortex can not always understand or de-code all that is held in the sub-cortex. In essence, what is held deep in the brain doesn’t support logic and language as we know it. This feels magical to me - like breathing, we do not have to micro-manage our brain/body system, it has an intuitive knowing; a never ending capacity to adapt, grow, heal and survive. Sometimes, talking holds the healing back.

How do we tap into the sub-cortex - how do we get that treasure?

Not by talking.

In order to go deeper, to uncover what our mind can’t comprehend on the surface, we need to get out of our own way. We need space holding, for our own deeper knowing to process what it’s holding so that we no longer feel stuck, burdened and helpless.

You need to become both the see-er and the seen.

Introducing Brainspotting

Brainspotting is a brain-body based, mindful, relational psychotherapy that uses the mechanics of where the pain lies in the brain. It holds the brain and body together with emphasis on the most efficient parts of the brain; the sub-cortex (without language).

Brainspotting uses the direction of a person’s gaze to locate the ‘spot’ in the brain that needs processing/healing.

Holding the space and facilitating the client to find and hold their spot is the job of the therapist, the client can share as much or as little of their experience in this process, as they fix their gaze in line with their brainspot. No-one experiences brainspotting the same as the processing is a sub-cortical experience that relies on the individual’s experiences, healing journey and own needs of the intuitive part of themselves.

Brainspotting uses the direction of a person’s eyes to locate the capsules of memory deep in the brain, harnessing the brain/body’s self-scanning capacity (like the nervous system) to locate, hold in place, process and release focused areas that are stopping the balance/freedom of the person.

Sometimes client’s are able and want to share what’s happening, what they see, hear, feel and sense and sometimes they say ‘it’s weird’ or ‘I know this sounds crazy…’

I have experienced brainspotting for myself and I have also witnessed powerful, emotional and sometimes silent sessions that have an ultra deep process, freedom and change. Brainspotting has been developed by David Grand, from his experiences and the limitations of other therapies such as Somatic Experiencing, EMDR and Micromovement and Relational Insight-orientated Therapy.

So what does happens when we stop talking in therapy?

Together with accessing the brain at a deeper level, silence can mean you get out of your own way for that deeper intuitive healing.

Brainspotting can be tiring and intense; considering the experience of living with trauma and things you no longer want to keep hold of - where do you want to invest your energy?